20 March 2010

What learned in my night of debauchery

Well it wasn't really debauchery, but it did get your attention, didn't it?

So a very quick recap of yesterday's happenings:
Went to see a friend, and a few of her friends, at a restaurant, and from there went to a couple of gay bars and a gay club. Danced a little, drank a little, and then went to get a bite, and go home.

So far, not really much to talk about. I met really great guys, I loved being with my friend (even if she doesn't have a penis), and I learned a lot about myself. Usually, one does not learn much in a club or a bar, but I take life to be a classroom, and thus, every opportunity presented to us is a time to learn. Yesterday was no different.

So what were the lessons I learned yesterday? Simple (and in completely random order):

  1. A man's body truly does not attract me. Granted, it's nice to look at, but a body is a body is a body. Nice bodies in the gay world is like chocolate in a Willy Wonka factory: it's understood to be there. This was really cemented at the club, where they had some male dancers in nothing but shoes, underwear, and a smile. One of them was really cute, and had really nice eyes. But what I loved most were his shoes. Nice and streamlined...they looked like Pumas, but I'm not too sure.

    "Wait...how was his body. Did he have a nice butt? How about his package? What about his pecs?" There were there, nicely hidden by his black bikini, but they were not the focus for me. I mean, in a gay club, there is plenty of eye candy to passed around and to admire, but there needs to be something more to grab my attention. Good thing they had a big screen so I could pay attention to something more interesting.
  2. Between a nice bar and a club, the bar wins. Don't get me wrong. The club is a nice environment if your main purpose is to dance and enjoy yourself that way, but a bar, you can talk. The music is there as a filler to the silence no one wants to hear. It's a time to actually enjoy with friends without the constant blaring of music and the yelling in one's ear an inch away from you so that you have the possibility of being heard. At least in a bar, you can actually talk at a normal volume and be understood.

    Now between a bad bar and a club, home wins.
  3. Friends and people you can trust always make it worthwhile. No matter where I am, as long as I have some friends, and people I trust, I have no problems making the most of it. It's the company I enjoy with them. They're just awesome.
  4. As long as I live in El Paso, I'm remaining single. I'm seeing that they gay scene in El Paso encompasses almost everyone I know/might know, and unfortunately, that includes bars and clubs. Considering I don't drink much, and I dislike the clubs, finding a Mr. Right for Me in the city is not looking bright. Don't get me wrong: I know there are plenty of people who have found their better half in bars and clubs, but quite frankly, I don't like the pickings in a club. The environment is exceptionally sexual. Don't believe me. Check out the dance floor.

    Now a bar may have a better chance, if the guy doesn't drink too much. I like conversation, and nothing gets my blood and juices flowing better than a highly intellectual conversation. It's the flame needed to get my fire burning, so to speak. Yet, too many drinks and you may feel like you're spewing Shakespeare, but all I'm getting is Larry the Cable Guy.
  5. I find a lot of boys, but rarely a man. As someone nicely put it: "A man is handsome & interesting, a boy is cute and fun." There are more of the latter than the former. Unfortunately, I don't like boys. If I did, I'd get one.
Like I said, there is a lot of lessons one can learn in a short period. For me, these were very important. In time, I know I learn more from my times of "debauchery."

16 March 2010

Labels...are they really necessary?

I've spent most of my life growing up with a label or two. As a kid, it usually was "Mexican" or "Hispanic." Those labels suited me, as I see myself as part of that community. Growing up, I prefer the labels "Latino" or "Chicano" as it was more specific to who I was an individual. I know that some labels we cannot escape, such as those for gender, race, and ethnicity. However, some labels really bother me.

One of them is my religion and faith. I was born in to a Christian family, raised a Christian, and continue to be one. However, because my denomination is changing from Non-denominational to Catholic, many see me as no longer being a Christian. How is that possible? Am I now a pariah that ceases to exist because I'm now affiliating myself with a denomination that some see as the whore of revelation (yes, I used be one them)? Or is that many say that I "worship" Mary and the saints that make me less of a follower of God?

For many to be a Christian is to follow Christ, believe that he rose from the dead, and is our saviour eternal. I have those covered. So what makes me different than others? Nothing. The problem is that we want to see differences where there are none, and as such, we think that by making a certain exclusive to a few, we will achieve that. I disagree. For me, saying that I am Christian is one thing, and saying that I am Catholic is another. "Christian" is a label of my faith, as it states I am a follower of Christ (btw, I prefer saying that over Christian, but that is another post). My religion, or denomination, is Catholic. I have fallen in love with the Church, and I have seen that it feels right with my soul and spirit. So, as a Christian, I choose to be Catholic. Both labels fit, but neither is exclusive of the other.

Now the other label deals more with my sexuality. Yes, I am gay. Yes, I like men. But the question remains: am I fem or butch (or masc.)? Now I understand the gay communities affinity for labels. I mean, we all create them one way or the other. Many of us wear them with pride, and show it off in our cars/notebooks/computers or any other place we can display who we are. I have known twinks, bears, jocks, st8 acting, brothers, thugs, and the list goes on and on. I mean, we all want to fit in somewhere, but the main issue is the first two labels we all have to deal with one way or another: fem or butch?

I tend to be between a rock and a hard place with this mainly because I do not see myself in either category. Let's see some examples of what makes me one or the other, shall we?

I paint my nails. I wouldn't mind doing drag. I LOVE makeup. I have no problem calling myself a queen, miss,  girl, or any other feminine label. I carry a man bag (which I sorely need another). I love to shop. I like fashion.
I've no problems working on my car when and if I can. I have no problems hiking, going on trails, and getting dirty. I love to sweat. I'm not too fond of the Oscars, Grammy's, or any other award show for that matter.

Looking at the lists, I can be pretty much either one. It's no big deal, but when talking to guys, it gets pretty interesting as they want to place you in one category or the other. I don't like that at all. I want them to see me for who I am, not the label I best fit. If that is impossible, then they need to move on.

So, for some, labels tend to be a defining moment in their lives. For mine, they are nice to have (some of them) but for the most part, I want to see as one label, and only one label: "Hi. I'm Manny." :)

15 March 2010

*Blink, Blink, Yawn*

Hello and welcome!

This is something that I decided to do mainly for one reason and one reason alone: I need to talk about stuff.

As a person that has a lot of opinions about stuff, and with a twitter account meets most of my needs, I needed somewhere that I could express myself wholly and truly. I am a man that has many ideas, and as such, needs a productive outlet for all my ramblings. :)

So for the most part, I will be covering anything that I think is good to cover, may it be politics, education, relationships, sex, and/or religion. From time to time, you might see a bit of my poetry, but that is still in debate.

Hope you love the adventure as much as I do!
Love ya and God Bless :)