18 April 2010

Love, Beauty, and Companionship

An online friend posited this: if you could only choose between love, beauty, and companionship, which two would you want in a relationship? This was my response.

I have learned that the ability to love is very strong, but we tend to figure out how to categorize love in ways that sometimes, at least for me, do not make sense.

I see in my life the ability to love blindly without regard to seeing if something more can be created from that love. If I can interact with you, talk to you, or even just say hi, the potential to love you is there. For me, this is how one shows they can love as Christ loves us (to an extent). For me, love, in all it's forms that we have placed it in, is still love. However, what differentiates love from one person to the next is the importance that we place on the love for that person. That is different, and thus, we treat them accordingly.

So going with that, I find it very hard not to have companionship without love. Since the inherent feeling of wanting someone in your life is love, it is impossible to divorce the concept of companionship from love. You cannot have one without the other.

The difference, however, that I place is that one need not be in a committed relationship to have companionship. For me, companionship is essentially allowing one or more people that you love deeply to be able to witness your life unfold. They may experience all or parts of it, depending on how close you are to them. I would love to have someone that sees my life to be my partner, but that is not necessary. Rather, I prefer to just have companions in my life. I prefer to have many people witness how I am growing and developing as a human being and a child of God, and vice versa. If in the process, something else develops, then that is fine, but that is not the goal.

Now as for beauty, it is something that I don't care about at all. Physical attraction is usually the initial reason many go pursue a person. I don't. If the first reaction I have is, "That guy is is [insert physical description here]," then I treat him as someone nice to look at, but nothing more. If the first reaction is "That guy is [insert intellectual description here]," then he has my attention. The physical does not happen until much later, and that is usually after a strong mental and emotional connection has been made.

So, for me, companionship and love are essential. Beauty is not.